Doby's Den
A dog's blog...for bipeds!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
...sent to Doby and me via mass e-mail...
1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Doby's Birthday
I know Doby has a birthday, but one problem exists: Doby has no ability to communicate sophisticated concepts such as letters, numbers, especially months. Since Doby was at one time a stray, his exact history has been lost but he has been dated to be about 1 year old.
The day I took him home was July 14th 2005 and I claim his birthday to be July 14th 2004. This works out very well for me since it happens to fall on my good friend Kerri's birthday. That's one less birthday to remember since I can now associate the two. Since Doby has no care for birthdays, if I have trouble remembering another friend's birthday, I can merely switch Doby's to that day! Some may call it cruel and manipulative - Doby doesn't mind as long as I provide him with 1.5 cups of kibble, twice/day in addition to a grand multitude of bones, treats and buttery fingers to lick. So mark the date: July 14th....and keep your eyes open. You might just see the Doby's Day Parade march through your neighborhood.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Doin the 'Doby'
Welcome to the first posting from the Den of Doby [not the 'Zen' of Doby...but that will come in conjunction]. As his closest human relative, I, Mike Simpson, have volunteered to translate the life and times of Doby Simpson into a Dog's Blog. Many of the Doby's daily activities will, unfortunately, remain undocumented due to the secretive nature of dogs while their owners are away. Don't let this discourage you though, as much of this time is spent sleeping. The observable highlights will be covered here pictorally. Enjoy.
"Welcome!" - Doby







